I hope you’ve been noting down all the wahala you’ve caused since you said we should not marry a woman that can’t cook. Daddy, you couldn’t have said it better. I mean why should any woman think of marriage, if she can’t cook. Hiss. KMT.
Ok, Daddy, see what happened.
So, my wife and I had our whole lives in front of us, we now had to work out where we wanted the marriage to go and how it should be. We had a proper large house, a nice, proper house, in the comfortable suburbs of Lekki. I’m a nice feminist sometimes. But, the day you made your announcement, I was inspired to take a holy step and re-invent my manliness.
I told my wife of three years that Daddy GO said if you don’t cook, I should divorce you. Sir, come and see what she did. She hissed and walked into the bedroom. Daddy, I don’t know where this kind of see finish was coming from. As the man of the house, I stormed after her corporate backside.
Daddy, when I got into the room, you won’t believe what I saw. She lay on the bed with her legs wide open and told me that if I can do her for more than one hour then she would go and cook. When she did that, I didn’t know what to do. I told her that you didn’t say that kind of thing or did you? I told her that to do is not part of the religious arrangement of marriage. She repeated that if I can’t do, then I should forget the food.
I fell on my knees and started to pray for energy. You should have seen my wife’s face, she was smiling on both lips and looking at me awkwardly. Then she said, I’m waiting while she licked the tips of her fingers.
Daddy, I couldn’t pray for one hour. Daddy, I’m just telling you facts, if people don’t agree with you, they can keep their moral judgements to themselves, to hell with them. I told her that I needed food to get the thing up and do it for a long time. My wife laughed at me and retorted that if I can go more than one minute, then she would go and cook.
Daddy, I want to divorce this woman. This is the same woman who claimed she’s African and yet, she won’t cook. This embarassment is what I have been facing for the past three years of our marriage. The only time I eat is when I use the blue pill. What can I do daddy? Even her family members tie our childlessness to my inability to do, daddy. I have a mind that’s telling me that she’s cheating on me. What has sex got to do with marriage?
I couldn’t imagine anything coming to spoil your message. I didnt need to announce the message to her because she is an ardent follower of your words. But I think the devil is messing with my wife. Daddy, I’m proud of my black culture, you know what I mean, this woman must respect my manhood which lies in my belly. I’m a good husband to her; I’ve been cooking since we got married. However, since your message came to the front of our computer, I’ve changed. I wont cook again. she must cook.
Daddy, when she displays this kind of nastiness, asking me to come and do before she cooks, what do I do?
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-Open Letter By Dr. Mike